"The most experienced, inexperienced person..."

“Actual quote from a friend.

And they’re right. I’ve spent nearly every waking moment learning everything I can about the world, about myself, and about my place in it. I’ve honed my empathy to a razor sharp edge, and my intellect to pinpoint precision. I have encyclopedic understanding of a multitude of topics. Being an intellectual is a large part of my identity.”

Apparently I wrote that in September of 2020. Five years later and I still know how I was going to continue that thought:

“And it's also my biggest flaw.”

It's the only natural follow up that isn't blatantly narcissistic. The exact words I was going to use have left me long ago, but the thought is still here.

I don't really know what to do with this post. A lot has changed in five years, and a lot has started the same. I'm not the same person who wrote that first paragraph. A close descendant maybe. I still relate to the sentiment, but probably not on the same way they had originally intended.

“The map is not the territory” - Alfred Korzybski

I have a very detailed map. Filled with meticulous observations and studies. But the map is all I know. As much as I try, I will never know the territory as a native does. I am always an observer. Forever an outsider. I collect data, learn the customs, speak the language, but the natives will always recognize me as not one of them.

I don't know where I'm going with this, I just want this post out of my drafts.